- Lexi Stead
Would You Rather Be "Right"....or Be At Ease?
Updated: Jun 22, 2020
Anyone getting tired of all this duality yet?
All this “right and wrong” being spewed out everywhere?
All this “you must learn ALL the facts, remember ALL the facts, and recall ALL the facts when speaking on any topic” is overwhelming and not really helpful to one’s wellbeing.
Anyone wondering if there is another way?
One that brings about lasting relief and ease?
It is time to move out of our heads and back into our hearts.
Today our county mandated the wearing of masks. It has been so strange for me to watch this play of duality. Now those who were judging and angry at those choosing not to wear masks feel justified, but those that want the right to choose are angry. The pendulum keeps swinging.
When does the anger, shame, blame game end??
What if we suddenly stopped needing to be right?
What if we stopped trying so hard to control others, and needing other people to agree with our point of view in order for us to feel relief?
What if we chose to feel the relief right now no matter what is happening around us?
What if we are willing to be wrong about everything we are so sure we are “right” about?
What happens then?
What does that look like?
Why haven’t we all just done this already?
The simple answer is: when we decide as individuals that we have had enough we will stop doing it. That may mean we need to ride out the intensity of our emotions first, and finish up our karma (those situations that trigger us), so the choice to stop feels easier. We can also simply stop, bite our tongues when we are feeling heated and feel into our hearts before we speak. When we become open and willing to shift our perspective we find the way out of this duality we created and back home to ourselves, to the oneness and the stillness.
The main reason I believe more of us haven’t stopped yet is we have to be willing to look at our fears. All of this duality is rooted in fear.
Sometimes I wonder how many people are actually aware that there is a completely different way to live that doesn’t include right or wrong...doesn’t include living in fear. Because that is what is under the need to control others...fear. That is what is behind the anger...fear. That is the real issue; people don’t want to see or feel their fears. They don’t want to look in the mirror and see the fear behind the masks they wear. It is so much easier to play this duality game and occupy ourselves with all the things other people are doing wrong than to look at ourselves. There is nothing wrong with immersing ourselves in this game by the way, it just becomes exhausting and hollow after some time. However, if you stop and take a look at what you are truly afraid of and be with it, acknowledge it, you would eventually feel the relief that you were really seeking all along. True relief is coming home to yourself and no longer separating yourself by resisting your fears and judging others. It is a false sense of security and a never-ending battle to have to always be “right” to feel okay, believe me I know. So, let’s give up already.
It is about right here in my article where my mind (and maybe yours) used to say “yeah, but...”
“Yeah, but people are dying.”
“Yeah, but this virus is real.”
“Yeah, but the facts say....”
“Yeah, but this authority said...”
“Yeah, but my freedom is being taken away.”
“Yeah, but someone will be upset at me.”
And on and on and on...
We can play the “yeah, but” game for the rest of our lives and still not feel any better or any closer to the peace our hearts desire.
Do you want to be "right" or do you want to feel relief, be happy, relax, live in peace, connect back to your true essence?
I remember the day about 6 years ago when I decided to let go of the need to be "right." I was the queen of being right, having all the knowledge I possibly could to defend any position with indisputable facts and research. All that ever brought me was more and more situations where I needed to defend myself, control others, and be right. Oh, and some headaches and a short temper. When I decided to give it up and become willing to be wrong I felt dizzy. I felt like I was spinning out of my body. I didn't realize at first that it was the fear that was surfacing. I had nothing solid to grab onto anymore because for over 30 years I had built my foundation on needing to be right so I wouldn’t feel the fear of being proven wrong. My real fears came flooding to the surface now that I was no longer holding them at bay. I had a lot of feeling, acknowledging and embracing to do.
In the end was the deepest peace I have ever known. It wasn’t the temporary satisfaction and false safety of being “right” in the moment or having others back my position; that can be taken away from you in an instant. It was the peace of knowing that all is well no matter what is going on in my environment or what beliefs anyone holds about any topic. When you come home to yourself you see the world in a completely different light and the duality we thought was real falls away.
By the way... I don't do this perfectly every time. I still occasionally fall back into wanting to be right, but I recognize it right away now and can let go quickly and easily. It is part of this human journey to go back and forth a bit finding more harmony each time.
So what is this fear most of us carry?
The number one fear I observe right now is the fear of death.
The virus could mean death...
Wearing masks could mean death...
Having our freedoms taken away could mean death...
Losing our money/job/relationship could mean death...
Having an unpopular belief or idea and speaking your truth about it can at times feel like death might be coming... (upsetting others and being ostracized brings about this primal fear of death)
People are afraid of death... the one thing we will all experience when it is our time and not a moment too soon. The moment we are born our death certificate has already been signed. So we can relax a little and choose to believe that we will leave this world at just the right time in just the right way and until then All Is Well.
Feel the relief in those words... All Is Well.
Whatever you decide to do or not do.... All Is Well.
Whatever someone else decides to do or not do... All Is Well.
Yes, I said it. We will all leave the planet at just the right time for us whether we wear a mask or not, whether we wash our hands or not, whether we stay home or not. If we choose to believe in an intentional universe where everything is happening perfectly for us at just the right moment, rather than a chaotic universe where we have to be smart, one step ahead, to survive, we take our power back and come to know our authentic selves. We can ease up on ourselves, let go of judgement and bring more enjoyment into our lives.
(Want to know more about the intentional vs. chaotic universe?)
Let’s stop the anger, shame, blame game. Let’s be willing to be wrong about everything we think we know. Truly, we will never know why anyone else chooses to do what they do and that is okay. We can love them anyway. We can love ourselves anyway and do what feels better in our own hearts.
Would you rather be "right"... or be at ease?
Love & Light,