As hard as it is to watch, I am so glad everything is coming up in the world right now to be seen as clearly as possible. I am glad people are speaking up and finding their voice. I am glad more and more people have had enough and are letting it be known.
I personally am feeling shaky this morning after that post I wrote yesterday. I was prepared for the stones to be thrown at me, but there were fewer than I anticipated. I, like the rest of the world, have had enough of keeping quiet. My tribulations may seem smaller scale compared to a lot of people in the world, but I have come to realize the oppression I had felt the first 30 years of my life was no small thing. It had a profound effect on who I conditioned myself to be and how I feared showing up in the world. I worked through the anger and fear around that and now I am left with moments of grief, sadness for feeling like I needed to hide who I truly was for so long. Even this sadness has been shifting and dissolving over the months.
I am strange, weird, unusual, mysterious in the eyes of society.
I truly am a mystic.
I don't follow mainstream ideas, unless they resonate, even when I feel the pressure from others. Right now, I am faced with this again. My go to has always been to retreat, become quiet and wait. Wait for what? To feel safe? True safety comes from a belief that we are safe, eternal, not a situation or an environment (this is a very metaphysical statement, not a logical one). True safety doesn't mean we can't be physically hurt, sick or die. It is something beyond the physical that we can connect with and pull ourselves out of this game of duality we play on Earth.
And... I know... this is where I just got weird😉 because a lot of people don't understand what I am saying. They take my words and try to analyze and fit it into logic. When it doesn't fit they tell me how wrong I am. Rarely do they ever say they simply don't understand nor resonate with my perspective. They feel the need to tell me I am uneducated, or living in a fantasy, or like when I was a kid I had a teacher flat out tell me to stop lying.
How could who I was born to be possibly be a lie?
Just because they can't relate to my inner knowing and experiences?
We all hold valuable truths, even if we don't agree. I spent the first 30 years of my life pouring myself into logic and education to become as knowledgeable as possible, so I could defend my point of view, and have educated opinions (I started this pattern around 5 years old, when I decided the world wasn't ready for what I was here to bring, so I tried to fit into the limited view of the world instead and dove head first into duality). Sometimes I still fall into that trap today, briefly, before I remember that it doesn't really matter. Because I don't want to live from my head, I want to live from my heart. When I lived from my head I had more and more headaches, overwhelm and illness. I always intended to come here and live from my heart, being a bridge for the divine. When I come back down into my heart, where logic doesn't have a place, I feel peaceful and harmonious and life flows so easily.
"Logic is great for baking cakes and building skyscrapers,
but it is horrible for living your life."
I know that it is okay for others to believe I am wrong, yet in my center that is my greatest fear, because it feels like I am waiting to be stoned to death rather than embraced for being different. (and those of you who know my story, especially from childhood, know I am not just different but borderline unbelievable with some of what I have experienced 😉. My husband keeps telling me I have to write a book, and I am).
What does keeping quiet do? It makes me frustrated, it makes me sad and keeps me from doing what I came here to do in this lifetime.
I share this because I believe most of us have this desire to be seen, heard and accepted. I truly believe this is at the heart of this ancestral pain we see being played out, the pain of separation all humans feel to some degree here on Earth. More and more people have had enough and are making it known. Expressing their anger is the first wave of releasing this pain. The second wave for those who truly want to heal and make this a new world, is the journey to their own hearts. This is the harder step. It is easier to lash out in anger, as our society understands and unifies around anger. It is much harder to turn inward and be willing to see yourself, your light, and how we are all connected through this light. If I can do this...We can do this.
It is hard when I hear others judging me, for living a spiritual life. They must not realize a spiritual life is not a passive life. It takes courage, heart, and compassion. It takes a willingness to let others be who they are and acknowledge the value they bring. It takes seeing your own light and acknowledging your power as a being of light. Before you judge others for doing or not doing something remember you have no idea what their role here on Earth is. I don't need to be angry or more educated to be powerful and make a difference...and neither do you.
Love & Light,