With the end of 2019 it seemed to me the energy of this last week sped up in a way that caused many, myself included, to purge what could no longer go with us moving forward into the New Year.
I actually got hit hard with this cleanse. I had planned to write a series of posts leading up to the new year, but found myself exhausted moving intense fear out of my body. Deeper layers of the fear I had been exploring for years. I spent many nights this last week waking up with waves of panic moving out of my core/gut. The last time I experienced fear this intense was when I went through my major releasing in 2014, the release that healed my gut of irritable bowel disease. I feel now it is time for the lingering symptoms in my gut to resolve so I can fully move on to stepping more into my power as a healer and with my intentions for this upcoming year.
Last year I made a video stating my intentions. 2019 for me was about embracing vulnerability so it made sense that the whole year I was working though my patterns around safety, not feeling safe in my body or in this world. I had a lot of ideas and things I wanted to do with Healing At The Heart last year, but it became apparent as the months went on that I had to step back a bit and work through my beliefs around safety to truly be able to show up how I desire. I moved through a lot this last year as my body was physically unbalanced (severe hormonal imbalances) with this underlying fear that it wasn’t safe to be healthy or to be fully me in this world. It hit me more intensely that I had ever imagined with the trembling, weakness, insomnia and panic attacks. My body and soul wasn’t going to allow me to hold onto these illusions anymore. This last week I felt my body purging that which I have struggled to look at and acknowledge because it is just so scary for me. Even with all my knowledge and inner knowing I still resist my fears from time to time.
Today we start 2020. My intentions for this year are living in harmony and balance with an open heart. With the illusions/fears around feeling safe in my body, feeling safe in the world drifting away, I am bringing in once again another level of harmony and balance into my life. It has been clear to me the past 5 years that a huge part of my purpose here is to be the guiding light for others to be able to live in harmony and balance, our true nature. By being willing to face my fears and come back to harmony time and time again and hold it with me longer and deeper each time, I can feel myself becoming that pillar of light for the world.
Our world, duality, as we have known and lived in it is crumbling. I know we can all feel it and are starting to see it as well. We can no longer live closed off to our deepest knowing, our emotions, our hearts. 2020 has brought with it a new wave of energy and we have finally moved into the time where the “free-will” experiment is ending and we must choose to connect to our hearts, our truth, or it will become more of a struggle to live in a world that seems to be heating up and collapsing. We always have free will, but if we continue to use this free will to make choices that take us outside of ourselves instead of going within, we are going to feel more struggle within our reality, rather than the harmony that is our truth.
The world isn’t really collapsing, it is the false structures that we have put in place that are, and to many this is all they know. The duality, the right and wrong, black and white, the ego, the power structures are falling away. The world is coming back to its natural balance, as it always does, and that means what we have built from the ego is going to break apart, even our own walls of protection around our hearts. It is imperative that we come back to our inner knowing, truth, our hearts. Through our hearts we will find the harmony and peace we have been seeking and will not struggle as those that remain closed off to the deeper parts of themselves.
I ask everyone to make an intention for this new year. One that supports your inner growth, your dreams, your greatest desires. Focus on what you want to see and allow all that doesn’t serve you anymore to fall away.
We are peace.
We are harmony.
We are balance.
We are light and light we shall remain.
Happy New Year everyone!!
Love & Light,
Lexi